Domestic Violence and Pregnancy: What You Need to Know
Domestic Violence and Pregnancy: What You Need to Know
I’ll never forget the moment my client shared her story with me during a postpartum visit. She had fallen pregnant with her first child at a young age and stayed in a toxic relationship for years, enduring abuse in silence. Like many others, she wanted her daughter to have a father and was afraid of the consequences of leaving. Her story isn’t uncommon—domestic violence affects far more families than we often realize, and during pregnancy, the stakes become even higher.
In this article, we’ll dive into important statistics, discuss the many ways domestic violence impacts families during pregnancy and postpartum, and explore resources for those in need of help.
The Reality of Domestic Violence in Pregnancy
It’s heartbreaking to think about, but domestic violence often begins or escalates during pregnancy. Experts suggest that this may happen because the abuser feels a loss of control or is overwhelmed by insecurity, financial stress, or other issues unrelated to the victim’s behavior. Abuse is never justified—it’s a manipulation of power that can leave deep scars, both emotionally and physically.
Studies show that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men will experience some form of violence at the hands of a partner. While these numbers are staggering, the reality is likely much worse as so many cases go unreported.
Effects of Domestic Violence on Pregnancy and Postpartum Health
Domestic violence during pregnancy doesn’t just harm the victim; it can also severely affect the unborn child. Some common side effects include:
Delayed prenatal care
Emotional trauma, PTSD, anxiety, or depression
Low birth weight or premature labor
Pregnancy complications and fetal distress
Self-medication with drugs or alcohol
Difficulty bonding with the baby after birth
In extreme cases, risk of miscarriage, harm to the baby, or maternal suicide
The ripple effects are real, and they extend beyond pregnancy. The stress of living in a violent environment can have long-term health consequences for both the parent and child, increasing the risk of conditions like asthma, heart disease, and chronic pain later in life.
Recognizing the Early Warning Signs of Abuse
Abuse doesn’t always start as physical violence—it often begins subtly and progresses over time. It’s essential to recognize early warning signs, including:
A fast-moving relationship and excessive flattery (love bombing)
Disregard for boundaries and frequent check-ins
Accusations of infidelity
Controlling behavior or isolation from friends and family
Verbal abuse, gaslighting, and threats
These behaviors can lead to more severe forms of physical, emotional, sexual, or financial abuse, with a cycle of violence that can be difficult to break. After an abusive incident, the abuser may apologize profusely or minimize their actions, keeping the victim in a state of hope that things will change. But sadly, in most cases, the abuse only escalates over time.
What to Do If You Are in an Abusive Situation
If you relate to this story or recognize any warning signs in your relationship, know that you are not alone. It’s essential to prioritize your safety and well-being, especially if you’re pregnant or have children. Making a safety plan can be the first step toward reclaiming control of your life. I recommend connecting with local or national resources to explore your options, whether you need legal help, a shelter, or simply someone to talk to.
I also want to stress that it’s okay to ask for help. There’s no shame in your situation, and you deserve to feel safe and supported. Abuse is rarely an isolated incident, and without intervention, it can escalate to more dangerous levels.
Resources for Help
In Guam, the following organizations provide support to those affected by domestic violence:
Doula Support During Pregnancy and Postpartum
As a doula, I offer support to pregnant and postpartum women, including those who may be dealing with abusive relationships. I offer discounted rates to those in need, understanding how challenging this time can be. If you need support, please reach out.
Above all, remember: your safety is the priority. If you feel you are in immediate danger, don’t hesitate to call 911. Your life and the lives of your children are worth protecting.
Warmly,
Lyndsay