Co-Sleeping and Bedsharing: A Supportive Guide for Families

As parents, we are constantly making decisions about what’s best for our babies, and one of the most intimate and personal choices is how we sleep alongside them. Co-sleeping and bedsharing are two approaches that offer physical closeness and emotional comfort, allowing parents and babies to bond during the nighttime. While these sleep arrangements often receive mixed opinions, it’s essential to support each family’s right to choose the option that works best for them.

At Sublime Motherhood, we believe in empowering families with the information they need to make safe, informed decisions. In this article, we’ll discuss co-sleeping and bedsharing from a supportive perspective, outline the potential benefits, and provide guidelines for ensuring the safest bedsharing experience possible.

What is Co-Sleeping and Bedsharing?

Co-Sleeping refers to parents and babies sleeping in close proximity to each other, but not necessarily in the same bed. This might include having the baby’s crib or bassinet next to the parents’ bed, so that nighttime care and feeding are more convenient. Bedsharing is a specific form of co-sleeping where the baby shares the same bed with one or both parents. This arrangement allows for maximum physical closeness and is a common practice in many cultures around the world.

Why Do Families Choose to Bedshare?

Families choose to bedshare for a variety of reasons, many of which are rooted in instinct and cultural practices. Some of the common reasons include:

1. Bonding and Comfort: Babies thrive on closeness to their caregivers, and bedsharing allows for skin-to-skin contact, breastfeeding, and soothing throughout the night. Parents often feel a deeper bond when sharing the same sleep space.

2. Ease of Nighttime Feedings: Especially for breastfeeding mothers, bedsharing can make nighttime feedings more manageable, as they can respond to their baby’s cues without having to get out of bed.

3. Soothing and Reduced Nighttime Anxiety: Many babies sleep better and cry less when they are close to their parents. Bedsharing may reduce the frequency of night wakings and allow everyone to get more restful sleep.

4. Cultural Practices: In many parts of the world, bedsharing is the norm. Families may choose this arrangement because it’s part of their cultural traditions or family upbringing.

5. Parental Instinct: For many parents, bedsharing feels like a natural extension of attachment parenting. It aligns with their instincts to be close to their baby at all times, including during the night.

The Benefits of Bedsharing

When done safely, bedsharing can offer numerous benefits to both parents and babies:

- Increased Bonding: The physical closeness between parents and baby encourages attachment and helps build a strong emotional connection.

- Improved Sleep for Parents and Baby: With immediate access to their baby, parents can respond quickly to their child’s needs, leading to less crying and more restful nights for both.

- Breastfeeding Support: Bedsharing facilitates breastfeeding, allowing mothers to nurse their babies more easily without disrupting sleep.

- Comfort and Security: Babies often feel more secure and content when sleeping close to their parents, which can help them transition more easily between sleep cycles.

Understanding the Concerns Around Bedsharing

While bedsharing has its benefits, it’s important to acknowledge the concerns surrounding its safety. Many healthcare organizations, including the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), advise against bedsharing due to the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and accidental suffocation. However, it’s also recognized that families will continue to bedshare, and the focus should shift to promoting safe bedsharing practices.

The key to minimizing risks lies in understanding safe bedsharing guidelines. When followed carefully, these practices can significantly reduce the risks and make bedsharing a safer option for families who choose this arrangement.

How to Bedshare Safely: Guidelines for Families

If you choose to bedshare, it’s essential to create the safest possible environment for your baby. Here are some evidence-based guidelines to ensure that bedsharing is done with safety as the top priority:

1. Create a Safe Sleep Space

Firm Mattress: Make sure the mattress is firm and flat. Avoid using soft mattresses, waterbeds, or memory foam, as these increase the risk of suffocation.
Keep the Sleep Space Clear: Remove all pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, and heavy bedding from the area around the baby. These can obstruct the baby’s airway or cause overheating.
Ensure No Gaps: Ensure there are no gaps between the mattress and the bed frame or wall where the baby could become trapped.

2. Position the Baby Safely

Baby Should Sleep on Their Back: Always place your baby on their back to sleep. This is the safest position for reducing the risk of SIDS.
Baby’s Head Should Be Uncovered: Make sure that your baby’s head is not covered by blankets or bedding. The baby should sleep at breast level if breastfeeding, or lower on the bed to prevent rolling into pillows.

3. Room Setup and Positioning

Avoid Bedsharing on Couches or Sofas: These surfaces are not safe for bedsharing, as they increase the risk of suffocation and entrapment.
Consider Using a Bedside Bassinet: If you're concerned about bedsharing but want closeness, consider using a co-sleeper or bassinet that attaches to your bed. This allows your baby to be within arm’s reach while still having their own separate sleep space.

4. Keep Baby Safe from Overheating

Dress Baby Appropriately: Use light sleepwear for your baby to avoid overheating. The room should be kept at a comfortable, cool temperature.

5. Ensure Parents Are in a Safe Condition

Avoid Bedsharing if You’re Under the Influence: Never bedshare if you or your partner have consumed alcohol, drugs (including prescription medications), or if you are overly fatigued. These impairments can make it harder to respond to the baby’s needs or be aware of their position in bed.
Don’t Bedshare with Smokers: Smoking increases the risk of SIDS. If anyone in the household smokes, even outside, it’s safest not to bedshare.

6. Limit Bedsharing to Parents

Siblings and Pets Should Have Separate Sleep Spaces: It’s important that other children and pets do not sleep in the same bed as the baby, as this increases the risk of accidental suffocation or injury.

Making an Informed Choice: Your Family’s Sleep Needs Matter

While healthcare professionals may offer recommendations, it’s crucial to recognize that every family is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Many parents feel that the benefits of bedsharing outweigh the risks when safe practices are followed. If bedsharing or co-sleeping helps your family get the sleep you need while fostering a close connection with your baby, it’s worth exploring the safest way to make it work.

Remember, whether you choose to co-sleep, bedshare, or use a crib in a separate room, the decision is ultimately yours. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep, and your family’s needs and instincts are valid.

Conclusion: Supporting Informed Choices for Every Family

At Sublime Motherhood, we believe that parents have the right to make decisions that feel right for their family, and sleep arrangements are no different. Co-sleeping and bedsharing can offer significant emotional and practical benefits when done safely. If you choose to bedshare, remember to follow the safe sleep guidelines to ensure that your baby remains as protected as possible while you enjoy the closeness that comes with sharing a sleep space.

Ultimately, trust your instincts and make the decision that aligns best with your parenting style and family dynamics. Whether you choose to bedshare, co-sleep, or use a separate sleep space for your baby, the most important thing is that your family feels supported and connected.

Would you like help setting up your sleep space or further guidance on safe co-sleeping practices? Reach out to us at Sublime Motherhood—we’re here to support you on your parenting journey!